monday

soft
they whisper
and tell me it's alright
sweet floating angels sing
they tell me i am broken
but they will fix me

he holds me close,
and i don't feel pain or worry
i release and i tell myself that i am broken
but he will fix me
angel or not

there are no more whispers,
except for the wind
ending too fast
praying it will last
heartbreak and handgrenades
and we are all lost in the rubble
struggling to breathe
struggling to leave
wisk him away

i am broken,
though i am full,
i am unusual
and no lone loves and outisder
who could love me, too?
no one will
and so i cry
and stare at the rain
i wasn't supposed to cry
but my shivers reveal my pain
i am simply here to die
i'm sorry i was never perfect

i can;t hear my angels,
my screaming drowns them away
i am not alright
and the world is not fair
i can't help but wonder if it's true
i won't return
my lessons learned
i refused to learn them again
i will not hurt again
i will not cry for him
so what if he doesn't want me?
so what if i'm not beautiful enough for him?

if my body clings to itself, you can't tell i'm crying
i could be laughing at the joke you told her
i could be cold, because my heart has finally spread
i could be insane
you wouldn't bother to figure out why

maybe i'm just lonely
maybe i liked it
maybe i thought for a split second that you loved me
maybe i was wrong
maybe i miss you
maybe i wish you were here
maybe i'll wish you the best
maybe i just hate feeling like a fool
maybe it was supposed to be this way
maybe

but you'll never know
these are just maybes after all
fragments
possibilities
chances

wishes.