there are stars
they tell me
that will lead me back to you
stars that will lead me to the moments we sat at the piano
when we crashed in the grass, the music echoing in our ears
when the twilight kissed the moonlight, and the silence was our soundtrack
to the moment when your voice held mine in perfect harmony
stars that will take me to when we resided in the dark, drowning in hormones and second chances
when there was magic in the fireflies and miracles in your fingertips
when the i fell asleep under the blanket of night, listening to the lullaby of your rhythmic heartbeat
when mirrors were no use, when i could see myself in your eyes
stars that will lead me to before your palm smashed against my porcelain cheek
before, when IV only meant four
before i gave up on trusting anyone, because anyone i trusted gave up on me.
before my voice clunked against these ivory piano keys, and the golden sunset looks more like rotting fruit than anything else.
before i smashed the mirrors inside your eyes and cried a lake of sweet memoir and remissions
before the last relapse that sent the knife into my throat.
stars
that led me to that field one night, apparently transparent, and i whispered your name
i whispered, and i called, and i yelled at the top of my shrinking lungs
your name, but you didn't respond.
i held you there, till i sank into the daylight
nothing but a pile of recollection and repentance
nothing but an unhealing scar, and a reminder of your infinite missteps and miscalculations
nothing
but a star, to fade into the night
a star, to shine in the everlasting blanket of darkness.
a star, to lead some other forgotten lover to their final place, of the unliving past and the undying future.
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